Life Upside-Down

Life always manages to throw us curve balls. I'm living through one of those times this week.

I'll be back to my tri life soon. For now I have bigger fish to fry.

Off and Running

I've taken on a new challenge. I need a new challenge as I have fallen into a training/off-season rut. I'm not even sure I qualify for an "off-season" yet but my mind is enjoying it. I think my body would prefer that I keep pushing it hard though.

I digress.

I have taken on a December Runathon challenge. Each day in December I will run at least 2 miles. This fun little adventure is organized by the Tri Girls and so, a whole slew of us are off and running. We report our mileage as well as successes and obstacles each week. Apparently there is also some sense of competition to see who can put in the most miles. Competition makes me crazy. Usually it is a good crazy.

Today I managed to squeeze in a 2.25 mile run between teaching and picking up the kids. I have a feeling that many of my short runs are going to be crammed between obligations/responsiblities or in the dark. Last night I hammered out two miles in my neighborhood just as the sun was setting. I can see that a benefit of this runathon is going to be enjoying the Christmas lights in the neighborhood. Yay!

You'd think that attempt to run every day would be enough of a challenge but I've decided to put down a few goals as well.

1. To add speed work to my runs.
2. To drop 3 minutes from my 5k time.(currently 34:40)
3. Add core work to my workouts at least 2 days a week.
4. To keep it all fun and remember that is it an opportunity and not a chore.

I've also started back on Weight Watchers. I've got these pesky 30lbs weighing me down and holding me back. I want them gone. It seems to me like I should use my training down-time to focus on eating better. Two days into it and I'm feeling okay. I need to hide the scale from myself though. It can be my worse enemy.

And, so, I am off and running. I'm excited and energized.

On a side note: I've only been on the bike once in the last month. I removed my pedals and I'm riding in running shoes again. I have little interest, no motivation, and I still hate it. Enough said.

Crash!...again

Since I started my "official" triathlon training in May, I have crashed (on my bike) a total of three glorious times. The first was minor but left me with an injured leg, the second (1 week later) was more dramatic. My second fall left me with a very sore and useless left hand. Last Saturday I had my most serious accident and, hopefully, I will never have one worse. I took a right turn too close to a truck, bumped the truck, lost my balance and crashed onto my left side, mostly upper arm and shoulder but did manage to bumped my head. Thank God for my helmet. I am also beyond thankful that the other drivers at the intersection were paying attention. For the very few seconds that it took me to figure out where I was and quickly jumped up and out of the road I was totally vulnerable. This all happened at about 8:30 am. I assured everyone that stopped including the guy that I bumped into, the nice people in the cars who stopped to check on me, and the two police officers to stopped to help, that I was alright I got right back on the bike and pedaled back to my car. It was only about a mile away. I also have to say a huge thank you to my wonderful mother. She sat in urgent care with me while I waited for x-rays, kept me warm as my body froze from the trauma, and didn't say one negative thing about my biking. She is an amazing mother, I am blessed.

My arm is still not functioning properly. I couldn't even lift it at first but now I just don't have full rotation. It is achy and sore. Luckily, all my other hurts were minor. But...

I was supposed to race yesterday. I have been diligently training since May and managed to compete in one whole triathlon this year. I kept an open mind throughout last weekend that the muscle in my arm was just sore and needed to loosen up and I'd be fine for Saturday. By Tuesday my hopes were dwindling. I had tried to swim on Monday night and it proved to be a complete failure and a total mistake. It just added to my soreness. By Thursday I was feeling moderately better, again. So I tried the pool. I managed to swim 400 yard and did it in about 9 minutes. I was seriously considering racing. But, now that my arm was feeling a little better I had to face the grim reality of getting back on the bike...

My arm was incredibly sore from the effort on Thursday and I could barely move it again on Friday. Also, on Friday, both of my cars ended up in the shop. One for a flat tire and the other for a bunch of brake warning lights popping up. The universe was conspiring against me traveling out of town to race. With the cars out of comission and the fear of huge repair bills my weekend race was out but I also felt like continuing with my sport was just a selfish money sucking activity. I was feeling really, really low.

Back to the bike. My bike and I have a hate-hate relationship. I hate my bike and it knows it. It apparently hates me as well. I like the idea of a riding a bike but I hate the reality of my bike. It is too big for me and I have never, ever felt secure and confident while riding it. I have always felt out of control and at the mercy of my inept coordination to deal with anything the road might throw at me. I fell the first two times trying to figure out my damn clipless pedals. I finally felt like I got that down but in the back of my mind I always worry about having to stop suddenly and get my foot released fast enough to catch myself. This fall was just about stupidity. I should have stopped behind the cars at the stop light and waited for the green and all the cars to turn. I would have had a wide open road and no problem. Instead I got too close to the stinkin' truck and with the slightly bobble was completely out of control. I hate my bike. I should probably be suffering from some self-loathing. But, honestly, I have that area covered and adding more would just seem like over-kill. I want to blame the bike. I have lost all interest in riding. I shudder with anxiety at the thought of getting back on it. I am even hestitant about using the trainer in my garage. I should probably seek some professional help on this one.

Sometime, this week, I will find the courage to get back on my bike. It might be with my old, standard pedals and I might be moving very slow but I'll get back on it. Around here we say that we "never give up" and I won't. But I won't be happy about it. I have work to do. Times to shorten. My first tri of the 2011 season is only 4 months away. I will be ready. I have to defeat my bike. (I hate that thing).

“If you worried about falling off the bike, you’d never get on.” Lance Armstrong

I DID IT!!

Yes, I successfully completed a triathlon. Does that make me a triathlete?? I like to think so.

I could not sleep much the night before (as expected) and woke up for the day at 2 am. I laid in bed for an hour and half and then got up, sat on the floor and did some light stretching for an hour. I felt eerily calm. At 4 am, I started getting dressed, loading up my equipment and was out the door by 4:45 am. I managed a eat a granola bar on the way an had plenty of fruit to snack on up to the 2 hour before mark.

I was pleasantly surprised to run into a friend on my way to the transition area. I got everything out, organized and ready to go, ate and apple and wandered around. I made many unnecessary bathroom visits and checked out the pool. I wish I had taken a camera to get a picture of the big electronic screen all lit up in the early morning hours. I could hardly believe I was taking part in a event that included a big, electronic screen. Before long it was 6:30 am and first wave of swimmers was in the water.

I was in the third wave so once the second wave took off I jumped into the diving/warm up pool for a couple of laps. Everything felt good. I was ready to go.

I took off fast...maybe too fast. I felt dehydrated (dry, cotton mouth) right as we were going. I quickly lost track of laps. The only problem during the swim happened to be a fairly significant one. My goggles fogged up. They also happened to be tinted goggles and so I was screwed. There were a few laps where I was feeling for the wall because I could hardly see it. I finally had to just stop and clear them. Since I had lost all count of my laps, I ended up slowing a bit to ask the counter how many more to go. After some confusion, I was told six more laps. No problem. I was one of the first in my wave out of the pool.

I dragged my behind out of pool. It was a serious challenge and one of the moments I dreaded most. It was over fast enough and I was wobbling back to the transition area. Apparently, lack of oxygen and an adrenaline rush is the equivalent of hauling down a Margarita.

I took off on the bike and, as usually, I was moving slow. I got past right away but just wanted to get a feel for the course when I took the first of three laps. Halfway around the course, on my first lap, the "bib" number on my bike flew off. I had no idea what the procedure was for this and so I stopped my bike as fast as I good, ran back to pick up the paper and then reattached it to the bike. I want to believe that this all took five minutes. Maybe the extra time is the cause of the slow bike time. On the second lap, I downed a quarter of a banana and chugged at my water bottle. On the third lap, (oh sweet third lap) I ate another quarter of a banana and finished off my water bottle. I started to cramp a little bit but was just so anxious to start the run and see how my legs felt.

My transition to the run was good. I defnitely did not waste time and thank goodness I managed to remember everything that I needed to take off and leave and put on to take. I had another water bottle for the run. I fear cramps. The course was so lonely, I saw three other runners the entire time I was out there. I felt like I was barely moving and I was convinced I was losing tons of time. When I pasted the 2 mile marker and could see the last turn to the finish line I was overcome by a huge second wind. I felt like I could go forever. I turned the last corner and my husband was nearby and he encouraged me to finish strong and even kind of ran a few yards with me. It felt so good to have the support. I crossed the finish line, grabbed my free t-shirt and got a big hug from my husband and father.

Interestingly enough, the end was kind of bittersweet. So much time was spent training and the whole race only lasted 1:43 minutes. They say this sport is addictive for a reason. I can't wait to race again.

Holy Anxiety

Race is tomorrow. Twenty-four hours and it will be all over. I hope I make it into the water without losing my breakfast to anxiety. I am already fumbling over myself.

Good thoughts, positive energy. I'm ready.

Two Weeks and Counting...

Yep, two weeks from today my first triathlon will be history. I have moments of panic but for the most part what I am about to do hasn't fully hit me. I am trained and I believe I am ready. The logistics are still a nagging mystery to me but I am confident that with enough training it will all fall into place.

It is rather amusing to me that I have managed to make some friends while training. I am not the most social person. Meeting new people and making connections does not come naturally to me. I am more of a stand on the sidelines and watch the action kind of girl. Since I've managed to meet many other women doing the race, my anxiety level seems to be quelled. I don't feel like I'm the only one out there and I know that I will have friends to talk to before, during and after my race. That is gratifying and calming.

Everything really is falling into place. My swim times are consist although I need to time myself at the 800y one more time (at least). My run is in the best form it has been since 2002. I'm consistently running at least 4 miles, maxing out at 7 but feeling confident at 5+. My bike is my only weak spot right now. I haven't been on it much since I've gone back to work. This week it is my emphasis. Last week I was fortunate enough to get it in for a tune up and even got some new tires. It feels much, much faster. Not sure how that is going to translate at the race but I definitely feel better out there. Also, my clips have become a minimal issue. I still get that nagging doubt in the back of my mind but have been consistently been able to unclip when necessary.

Life is good. I'm feeling great. I just can't wait to get this race behind me and move on to bigger and better.

Try not. Do or do not. There is no try. ~Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back

Yes, this is actuallly going to happen

I can feel the momentum building toward my race on Oct. 10. My training is going well and I've started to purchase my tri gear. I've started to have anxiety dreams about being late, not finding my transition area and other such drama. I have also started to envision what it will be like that morning, cool, early and butterfly inducing. All that being said, I feel good.

I know I won't beat anyone in the race but I do know that I can finish it. My goal is to swim without stopping, bike without falling, and run without walking. If all goes well, I will set loftier goals next time around.

This morning I had the opportunity to volunteer at a water stop for a challenging 8-mile race. My husband, Jamie, ran the race like a champ, cramps and all. I hung out with a group of super supportive, kind, and generous women. I am so happy to have found the Tri-Girls. As we watched the super competitive lead runners come through out station, more than one woman pondered, "Why do we do this to ourselves, it doesn't look like fun." No, it doesn't look like fun. I think that maybe the fun isn't really in the act of doing but in the fact of having done it. There is a sense of personal satisfaction in know that you get a goal, a goal that would require committment and perseverence and following through.

When I cross that finish line on Oct. 10 less than 2 hours after jumping into that pool, there will not be words to describe how good I will feel. I know my body will hurt and my pride a little bruised but the satisfaction of knowing that I can be an athlete will be overwhelming. It already is.

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. ~Newt Gingrich

Feeling Good

I had a great run this morning. I did 5 miles under overcast skies with a cool breeze. I had a minor calf issue but not enough to stop me. I think that one warmed up legs I could definitely finish 3 miles.



My swimming is going fantastic. I love, love, love swimming. I wish I had taken it up as a kid. I tested myself and finished 300 yards in 5 minutes. I'm sure that is fairly average but considering I have only been serious in the the pool for a few months and was barely a novice to begin with, I am impressed with myself. I'm taking a Tri Swimming course at the local community college. I am looking forward to improving my technique and all the time in the pool but am going to have to face my demons when it comes to having my stroke vidoetaped and figuring out flip turns.

Cycling is another story all together. I am bound and determined to figure out how to clip and unclip my fancy shoes and pedals. My first two attempts, in early June, were disastrous. I was out of commission for weeks from fall injuries. I finally did some research and discovered the my clips could be loosened and I could use a lubricant to make the parts come apart easier. I have tried a couple of times with the bike stationary but this weekend I plan to attempt movement again. Yet another demon that I must face down.


"To succeed you must first improve, to improve you must first practice, to practice you must first learn, and to learn you must first fail." -Wesley Woo

Highs and Lows

It seems like my training is at a standstill. I don't know why exactly but I just feel like I am going through the motions but not getting much better. Blah.

Some positive stuff happened this past week.

I finally received my race confirmation. I am officially signed up, paid for, and good to go for my first triathlon. It will be the Tinfoilman event on October 10. I was relieved to get the notification but then the reality set in that this is really going to happen and my endurance needs to improve.

I also hammered out a decent weekend of workouts.

Some not so great stuff also happened.

I got very sick after my run last Tuesday and was OUT for all of Wednesday and Thursday. I finally made it back to the gym on Friday and got a good ride and swim in. I'm still a little congested but it is workable.

My ride on Saturday morning was enlightening in how bad it was. I am great on the indoor bike but overwhelmed, intimidated and unable to get my road bike form in any shape. I get past by everybody.

I have thyroid disease and my body is out of whack right now. I am waiting until this Friday to have bloodwork drawn and then will get to see my endocrinologist next Wednesday. I cannot wait. I am having bouts of palpitations, insomnia, and the general depressive icks. I am so frustrated with my body at this point. I feel like I work my ass off and I continue to gain weight. I just feel like no matter how hard I train, as long I am carrying around an extra 40 lbs, my times and endurance are not going to get much better. It is a self-defeating philosophy that I am stuck in. Also, in the back of my mind, I worry about how treatment is going to effect my training. I don't want to be on beta-blockers to stop the palpitations and insomnia because it will lower my aerobic capacity. If I gain weight while training I am scared silly about what will happen if I am not working out. I just don't know what to do. Hopefully my doctor will have some answers.


“Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.” ~William Barclay

Praying for a Cloud

I managed to hammer out about 4.5 miles this morning. It would have been a 5 mile run if I hadn't stopped a couple of times to walk. At 7:30 am it looked beautiful outside. A cool overcast morning which led me to decide that an attempt at a run was in order. I dropped the kids off at school and by 8:15 am when I finally was out the door to run the clouds were breaking up. Ugh.

The run started out great. My calves felt good, no screaming at all. I wasn't woried about my pace and didn't feel any nagging urge to hurry myself up. At about 1.75 miles the heat was starting to get to me. Seriously, I should have refilled my half-empty water bottle. What was I thinking? I was running into the sun at this point and there was absolutely no breeze. At the 2.5 mile turn around point I got my second wind, a breeze had picked up and I was feeling good again. It didn't last long. At about the end of 3 miles I felt sick. The sun was to my back but it the heat was beating through my shirt and my back was burning. I also started to feel sick to my stomach and really wishing that I had not already finished my water. I walked for about half a mile more and had crazy thoughts running through my head. I prayed for just a cloud to block the cloud, any breeze at all. Mostly I just wished for water. I wondered how crazy I would look in my near heat-stroke madness walking up to someone's front door and asking for water. Even the water surrounding a sprinkler head looked appealing. My stomach, head and skin started to feel a little better and I figured I wasn't going to get home any faster walking so I started to jog.

I live amongst a golf course and remembered that there is a bathroom for the golf course right off the road. I figured, if it was unlocked, I could at least fill my water bottle from the sink. Even nasty water sounded great, refreshing, beautiful at this point. I hobbled over toward the bathroom and there was the most wonderful sight: a cooler full of water. The water was even cold. I guzzled some down and within a few minutes I felt like running. I finished my 5 mile journey. I am spent but I feel accomplished. I also feel wiser in knowing not to underestimate the amount of water I need.

For the past two hours the storms have been rolling through. Maybe my cloud prayer was answered, just a little later than I would have liked.

Well Darn It!

Went to sleep last night with a ache in my throat. I woke up this morning feeling sick. Decided not to train. Now, at the end of the day I am feeling better but also regretting my laziness and feeling blah. I hate regret. My logic this morning was to miss one day so that I didn't get too sick and end up out of commission for a week. This logic would probably make more sense if I had stayed home and rested. As the mom to a 3 and 5 year old, rest is not generally an option.

We took road trip to a nearby lake. Hopefully in the morning I will wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go, otherwise I just be adding to my regret.









Thankfully, these amazing pictures of my family will make the day and my decisions worthwhile..for now.

Pain in the Calves

My running is suffering at this point. I was out for about 6 weeks with a lower leg injury, thanks to falling off my bike, and I just haven't been able to get my legs back. I ran 3 miles this morning but at about a mile in my calves were screaming at me. Okay, I have to admit, 3 miles is my standard run. I can run this distance without too much effort, usually, but I feel spent/accomplished when I am finished. I need to increase my mileage so that 3 is just the tip of the iceberg.

I'm also dealing with another, purely mental, problem. I always (I mean always) feel like my training is rushed. For example, this morning I had absolutely no obligations, commitments, plans beyond running. Still, while I am out there I feel this constant nag that I need to hurry up. It isn't the need to increase my speed but rather to just be finished with the workout. Legitimately there are times when I do have to be someplace and I need to cram as much into the time I have but I hold this feeling over for all my workout. When I think about it, I don't feel this weird pressure on my Sunday swim practice. It is a full hour dedicated to coached swimming and I love it. The worst part about feeling like I am always is a hurry is that once I am finished I wish I had done more. Today I just yelled at myself. I felt the urge/push to be done and literally yelled at myself, "Shut up, you don't have anywhere to be, you don't have to rush!" It seemed to help.

I suppose I need to work on loosening up my calves. I'm not sure how to do that at this point. I will stretch and make a conscious effort to work on them. I'd like to run at least 5 miles next weekend. Here's hoping.

"When your body screams, tell it to shut up"

The Objective

My Goal: To complete a Triathlon.

Ultimate Goal: Make training and racing a consistent "hobby".

I found this quote today and it pretty much sums up how I feel and why I am motivated.

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

Theodore Roosevelt
"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910