I'm Still Alive

Yes, I'm still alive but life has changed.  The last time I posted I had just finished racing TriRock San Diego.  Today I am not even actively training for triathlon.  I am running but haven't been in the pool in months and haven't been on my bike in a few months more.

The past year feels like a blur.

In 2014 I was the President of the Tucson Tri Girls and was knee deep in the triathlon community all the time, yet, I was very removed from triathlon.  I was working to help maintain the club and build a triathlon community but I was quickly losing interest.  It isn't that I don't love multi-sport.  I do love the exhilaration of finishing an endurance event.  I just found something that works better for my goals.

Back in October of 2013 I starting lifting weights and building my strength.  I knew my core was weak but I figured I must be physically strong to be able to swim, bike and run for hours.  I could not have been more wrong.  I was very fit but I was not strong.   I started to discover all my inefficiencies and imbalances and I started to discover that I was built to lift heavy things.

The beautiful thing is that by building general strength and working through imbalances, I started to see real improvement in my endurance training.  My run got fast and is still improving.  My swim got stronger without a lot of time in the pool.  My bike still kind of stinks because of a nagging back injury so I pretty much left that sport behind.  Maybe I will get back to it.

By the Spring I was actually placing in my age group at local 5k events.  The beautiful part is that I wasn't increasing my run training.  My speed came from the efficiency I had gained through strength training.

I almost attempted an Olympic distance triathlon in May.  My hip/back did not allow me to train or gain much confidence on my bike and I had a total mental/anxiety breakdown and left the event before I even started.  My faith in triathlon was waning.

Over the summer, I participated in the City of  Tucson Aquathlon series.  I was running consistently as I was training for a late summer half marathon but my swimming was limited to once a week.  My swim times were faster than they ever were when I training multiple times a week.  It was like magic.  I placed 3rd in my age group for the series.

My husband and I "trained" for the America's City Half Marathon in August in San Diego.  This was the first half marathon or running race I ever raced back in 2002.  Back in 2002 I had an awesome experience.  I was excited to go away with my husband and run in cool, beautiful San Diego.  Ha!  It was a miserable race.  I went out too fast and it was so damn hot.  Running in a heat wave is no fun even if you are running along the ocean.  I was dying by the 10k mark and hobbled to the end just praying to finish.

This is my cheesy, thank God it is over smile.  It was long day of trying to rehydrate and put the event into perspective.  In the end, I just chalked it up to experience and an affirmation that you get what you trained for.  I trained to run on flat course and this course was very, very hilly.  Did I mention it was also very hot.  

I signed up for spring tri just to prove to myself that I was actually a triathlete.  It was a great event.  The course was gorgeous and the event was well run.  It was very, very small and I enjoyed it thoroughly.  I didn't win anything for my (lack of) speed but I felt so happy to cross the finish line.  

The very best part of this race was putting on the tri kit that I wore at Tri Rock San Diego and seeing the very significant difference in my size.

I changed my eating for about 6 weeks out of the past year.  I lost about 10 lbs and then I gained 10 lbs back.  So, screw the food situation.  I can see positive changes simply by eating reasonably (which I do) and sticking to strength training.  And so, I am now just finishing an internship with my strength gym. I am working on my personal training certification and hoping to be employed as a personal trainer/instructor in the the next couple of months.

I am no longer on the TTG board and my triathlon future is in limbo. I know for sure that I love everything triathlon did for me.  It helped me out of depression and gave me confidence in myself.  It led me to some of my favorite people and best friends.  Thanks to triathlon I am on my way to making a career of something I love to do.

Onward!

TriRock San Diego Race Report

I went to San Diego back in June 2012 and the San Diego International Triathlon.  It was a really great time. I loved the open water swim, the bike was challenging but also beautiful and fun, and the run was also challenging but gorgeous.  In 2012, I was just working my way up to the Olympic distance and at this SDIT I raced the sprint.  My goal was to go back and race the full "International" distance.

Then there was Deuces 2012 and the race from hell.  Actually every big event in 2012 kind of sucked and all for different reasons.  I'm not going to beat that dead horse on this post.

This year, 2013, I just wanted to have successful races.  Tinkerbell could not have been more amazing and while Deuces was still a pain in the ass, I felt accomplished for going back and finishing it in better form.

The icing on the cake for 2013 was to go back to San Diego and race at sea level on flat course.  I wanted to experience it all without pressure but knowing that I was trained and capable.

I missed out on SDIT because it happened back in June and I wasn't in position to travel to San Diego and I had signed up for Deuces.  Deuces is much more family friendly for traveling.  My other option was TriRock San Diego in September.  This whole event looked totally amazing.  Fast, flat, zero elevation with a protected ocean swim.  The "rock" part also sounded like a lot of fun with live bands and spectator/party support.

The view of the swim course and transition are from our hotel room.

And this is how it all played out.

The swim:   Oh Lord what a swim.  We waited about 20 minutes for the tide to come in while we stood around for way too long in our wetsuits.  I'm a desert dweller and know nothing about tides but it seems like that is something fairly predictable. Anyway, I was in second wave so we stood by and watched the first way head out to the start.  The start was actually about 100 yards out in the water.  As the racers were headed out into the water, a sea lion popped its head right out of the water to check us all out.  We must have looked like a herd of lunatics in our wetsuits and rainbow array of swim caps.  It was cool to see wildlife out there but I just didn't want to think about being out there with anything else.  Please just let the water be cloudy.

My wave was headed into the water as soon as the first wave set off.  We quickly clamored into the water but the volunteers were very concerned that we be careful stepping into the water as the tide was still low (?) and the rocks were closer than they liked.  Again, I know nothing about water so a moment of panic overtook me and launched myself into the water.  I'm certain it looked like a really bizarre belly flop.  I was scared to let me head drop under the surface.   I tried my best to recover and then set off toward the start.

I barely made it to a point in the crowd where I felt confident enough to hold my own and the starting horn went off.  What the heck??  I just took off.  The buoys seemed so very far away but I just put my head down, kept counting, and tried to remember to enjoy the experience.  The course was supposed to be some sort of a backwards "L" shape.  The stretch out to the farther buoy (before we turned for the longer stretch) was very uneventful and I even took a moment to think about how nice it was to be swimming at sea level where I felt my lungs refill with every breath.  And then we turned...

We turned right into a current.  I had no idea what was going on.  The whole desert dweller dilemma.  I tried keep the buoys in sight but I was struggling to keep track of them.  The athlete guide said there was be a buoy every 100m but there were not that many.  I saw the first one I had to clear but then I just couldn't keep track of the course.  I decided to try to stay parallel with shore and I thought I was successful for a bit but wasn't making much progress.  I passed the 700 m buoy and decided to just check my watch, it was at 23 minutes.  That was a seriously long 700 m but I had in my head that because of the currents and sighting and sheer distance (the course looking overwhelming large), I probably wouldn't make it out in less than 40 minutes.  Now, there was a problem, the next buoy I could see what not in the right place.  I was trying to make sure that I was always around other swimmers and heading in their general direction.  This was working but I could not see where we were supposed to go so I started to head for the next buoy I could see.  I probably swam a good 5 minutes towards that buoy before a guy on the surf board came up next to me and pointed me in the opposite direction.  The only words that came out my mouth were "good gracious, I'm heading the wrong way."  But off I went in the "correct" direction.  I managed to get punched in the head and generally clobbered by some aggressive men around this far turn and then I headed back toward the next buoy.  Next issue.  This buoy keeps moving.  No joke, I am watching it float farther and farther away.  I seriously considered cutting the course until I hear this lifeguard yell, "keep the buoy to your right," to which I responded, "why does it keep moving?" and his reply, "there currents out pulling them around"  What the??

I literally had to punch the buoy to get it from going right over me as I turned the corner.  As I punched it, I felt the undeniable stabbing pain of a muscle cramp in my right calf muscles.  I could not move my lower leg. I start doggy paddling over the surf board dude who I was just talking to before the buoy and tell him I have a cramp in my leg to which he replies, "you can only hold on for 10 seconds" to which I reply, "what if I can't move my leg" and he says "try to loosen up best you can".  I was a bit ticked off.  If someone was out there having a panic attack would they tell them to move in 10 seconds or quit?   For goodness sake, it isn't like I was competing to win the thing or looking for a free ride.  By this point, I just wanted to be done.  I massaged my calf out so that the stabbing pain eased and pushed on the surf board.  For a good time later I just used my arms and let my leg drag behind me.  I was able to kick to the swim finish.  I've read a few complaints from people (and heard first hand grumbles) that the swim was significantly longer than the 1500 m advertised.  I know it felt like it took forever.  My swim time was 46 minutes which was a lifetime compared to the distance at Deuces where I finished in 35 minutes.  Apparently the buoy I couldn't find had actually broken free and had to be towed back to it's place.  Maybe it is just the nature of  swimming in the ocean.  Who knows.

The bike:
I took my sweet time in T1.  I was feeling the effects of the current, and being hungry, and took a minute to get my bearings and slam down a gel.  Then I was off on the bike.  The only issue was that I forgot to take off one of my clip covers which made for a quite a scene at the mount line. I apologized to the little kid that I may have cussed in front of.  I hope his parent's heard me say sorry.

It wasn't the best bike course.  The route took us on to the Navy Base San Diego.  It would have been cool to look at the big ships but it was dangerous to take your eyes off the road for too long.  There were train tracks with an ambulance stationed nearby (never a good sign) and tons of bumps, manholes, turns and other hazards.  Luckily I went into this event just for the experience so I just sat back and tried to enjoy it all.  I was the Good Morning Girl as I tried to acknowledge and thank all the volunteers on the course.  I had a good time.  About half way through the second of two laps I started to feel really nauseous.   So I downed my energy gel and settled back in.

The run:
The run turned out well but could have been a total disaster.  I took my sweet time getting out of T2.  My legs were jello but not terrible.  I was very concerned that my calf was not going to cooperate after seizing up in the water.  It turned out to be a non-issue.  My real issue was that I forgot my gels.  Because of the late water start, my nutrition plan was all sorts of screwed up.  I took a gel right as I got on the bike and then in the last quarter of the bike to fight back nausea.  Now, I was going to try to run 6.2 miles on nothing.  I was miserable after a mile and fought my way through the first of two 3-miles loops.  By the time hit the turn around I knew I was in trouble if I didn't find some calories.  I had a plan.  I stopped at a make-shift fan supported aid station and hauled down a couple of orange slices.  I started to feel better.  About half a mile later I hit the official aid station and drank some nasty but remarkably delicious TYR fluid.  I also managed to fight down a powergel.  I had to force myself to keep it down but after a few tentative steps I was off.  The rest of the run felt more and more powerful and consistent.  I came into the finishing chute, choked back some gratitude tears and finished strong.

My cool body marking tattoos and racing bling.

Overall, I had a good time.  The weekend was fun as I got to go to the San Diego Zoo after the race and then had a delicious fish dinner.  I love weekend getaways with friends.

I probably won't do this event again anytime soon.  I am quite disappointed in the course and lack of music. It wasn't what I had expected.  I am happy with my race performance and proud that I've finally erased the disappointing performances from last year.

I'm taking some time off from tri training and working on getting stronger and (hopefully) fitter.  I want to get back out there but I want more of a physical advantage.

Consistent Implementation

**I wish this post was full of awesome race pictures.  My photographer was otherwise occupied trying to take care of our children.  I am still not willing to pay $26 for three not-so-great digital copies of my official race photos.**

Last weekend was my big race.  I went back to Show Low to take another shot at the Deuces Wild Festival – Olympic Distance Triathlon.  You can read about the fiasco last year here.

When I completed this event last September I was so totally defeated and miserable.  I wrote off ever doing the event again. Apparently there are times I have moments of insanity.  I jumped at the chance to do it all again when I won a free entry.   I won the entry around 7:30 p.m. on February 11, booked the cabin before 10:00 p.m.  on February 11, and was in the pool for my first training day on February 12.  I was motivated to say the least.

My training was consistent and I saw improvement.  It is amazing what happens when you have a plan and actually follow it.  Most of my motivation was based on fear.   I knew I did not want to go back and make the same mistakes the second time around.

I managed to miss very few training sessions.  My swim felt solid.  The bike is not my strongest event.  I am very little confidence on the bike and often feel like I am faking it.  For whatever reason I just can't seem to find speed.  However, I knew my times on the bike were getting better and my long rides of 2+ hours were manageable.  About six weeks ago, maybe more at this point, my shin splints decided to transform into a mild case of plantar fasciitis.  My running was great up to Sabino Canyon in early April and since then I just haven't put down the mileage I needed.  I wasn't too concerned about my run.  I felt confident that I could cover the 10k even if it might not be fast or pretty.

On Thursday the family was off to Show Low.  My kids and husband absolutely love it up in the cabin.  I was just happy to be on my way.  No more training and no more thinking.  I was just ready to get it done. 

Friday was relaxing day.  I slept in and then went out for a 15 minute run and 20 minute ride in our little cabin neighborhood.  I was really just screwing around making sure that I could breath and turn my legs over on the run and that my bike was in decent working order for the ride.  Everything seemed well.  Oh, except for my stomach.  I had a terrible attack of stomach pains when I finished my little workout.  It took a little over an hour and a dose of Pepto to start feeling better.  I didn't eat much throughout the day.  For some reason I had no appetite.  It could have been nerves but I felt pretty calm.  Maybe it was a stomach bug. 

At packet pick up I headed down to the infamous boat ramp to test the water.  Rumor before the race was that the water temp was going to very, very cold.  It seemed alright to me.  I let that piece of anxiety go.  Everything was falling into place to this point.

I had late dinner on Friday and didn't eat enough carbs.  My poor appetite before races is something I need to work on.   Everything was packed and ready to go by 9 p.m. and I was off to sleep.  I actually slept quite well.  I woke up at 4am and lay in bed for a bit.  I was up by 4:45 getting everything together.  By 5:00 my stomach bug was talking to me again.  Down went a second dose of Pepto.  Unfortunately I did not get to eat any breakfast.  I tentatively got a banana down and hoped for the best. 

I got to my transition spot without any issues.  This year the racks were assigned.  I love assigned racks.  It means one less thing that I can stress out about.  I found my spot and started unpacking.  Everything felt a little chaotic but I just kept telling myself that I was overthinking it.  My attitude was very “whatever” at this point.  I went off to find my timing chip and complain some more about the parking situation (that is another story entirely).  I felt really calm.  I was scary calm.

My thought on this uncharacteristic calm is that I had over thought everything.  I spent each and every training session visualizing the race.  By the time I got to the race, I had thought about everything I could possibly come up with and I had trained for it.  Either my training was going to pay off or it not but this event was going to happen.  I couldn't finish any worse than last year. 

We had to clear the transition area more than an hour before the event started.  This kind of sucked.  It meant no jogging warm up.  Instead I hung out with friends and leisurely put on half my wetsuit.  My husband and kids were able to hang out with me for a few minutes and stand in line with me for the potty.  My mind was not on the race.

With only about 15 minutes to the start, I needed to try to get on my wetsuit sleeves.  I had planned and practiced for my sleeveless wetsuit.  It is so much more comfortable and I had hoped for warmer water temps.  The cold temps meant long sleeves.  I put them on crooked the first time and nearly lost it.  It was claustrophobic and totally uncomfortable.  Picture Ralphie in his snowsuit.  My breath got shallow and my head started to spin.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I struggled to take it off and put in back on.  My good friend Jen was there to help me out.  I think she saw the panic and told me to just breathe and that I was the calm one at this race.  She set me right and I am so glad she was there.  We walked down to the water to acclimate before the start.

And we were off.   

I am happy to report that this event was totally uneventful.  The swim was fun.  I was able to maintain my breathing and settled into my pace nicely after a few hundred yards.  I came out of the water with a clear brain and no cement kicking.   I waited until I was at my transition spot to check my swim time.  It was 5 minutes faster than I had hoped for.

When I got on my bike I realized the setting on my Garmin were all wrong.  It would not tell me my distance.  Luckily I had done the race before so I just let it go.  I knew where I was going and what to expect.  I kept track of my nutrition and stuck to my plan.  The ride was excellent and I finished that 5 minutes faster than I had planned.

Then there was the run.  This run seems simple enough but for some reason it just wasn’t.  I didn't run more than ½ a mile before I had to walk.  You know that running dream where you completely forget how to run?  I was trying, I was really trying but my legs and lungs and arms would just not work together.  It was hot.  It was the hottest 83 degrees I have ever experienced.  I was dehydrated and felt like I was cooking.  I left transition at the 2:19 mark on my stopwatch and had this amazing feeling that I could finish this thing in 3:30.  That would only take a 1:11 10k.  My current 10k is 1:04.  I had such hope.

I whined and walked and jogged and walked and whined for 1:25.

I finished the race and I was a bit delirious.  There are so many things that I could have done differently but in the end that was all irrelevant.  I finished the race and did the best that I could.  I'm happy with that.

My training paid off.  Getting out there and getting it done every day was the only way that I could put this all behind me.  My racing season this year has been amazing.  There were so many races last year that left me feeling let down (Tinkerbell, Deuces…) so that I just wasn't motivated to keep racing.  This year has been redemption from that dark place.  In the a week since conquering Deuces I have signed up for the Women’s Half Marathon in Scottsdale on November 3^rd and the TriRock San Diego on September 22^nd.  J

I’m excited to get back out there. 

“We all lose sight sometimes, but when we find our way again we are not only 2x stronger but we can see where we need to be, where we should be, and most importantly we understand why we are not there already.”  – Ian Warner

The HGTV Theory

I love watching HGTV.  I could veg out all afternoon watching home renovation and house hunting type shows.  Maybe I'm just a nosey person and like to see into other people's homes.  I long ago gave up wishing for my own home renovation but I just can't turn off the HGTV.

There is one trend in all the shows I watch.  Everyone wants their "dream home" renovation.  They desire an open floor-plan, an upgraded kitchen with stainless steel appliances, and space to entertain is always a must.  More storage and that extra bathroom seems to round out the list of necessities.  They have fabulous designers/contractors on hand and usually a significant budget.  Designs are drawn up and the work begins.

It absolutely never fails that unexpected expenses pop up during the course of renovation.  It always drives me crazy when everyone is surprised to find out that the 100 year old house has plumbing/electrical/model/structural issues.  All of these things must be addressed before they can continue on with the fabulous reno plans.  Oh wait, did I mention that the budgets are already maxed out with said "fabulous design" and something must be given up in order to get the basic fixes done.  It. Never. Fails.

The homeowners are angry, disappointed, or feel like the whole project was a mistake.  And then they get to the big reveal day.  Everyone is always so happy and they can't believe it is the same house.  Sometimes they are a little let down because of the fabulous stuff they gave up to fix the roof/drainage/mold/plumbing but they know that it had to be done.

So, what does this have to do with training for a triathlon?

About six weeks ago I started to experience shin splints and calf pain.  I tried new shoes and even managed to do a fine job racing up and down Sabino Canyon.  The pain would not go away.  About 3 weeks ago I started to notice new pain in arch/heel area of both feet.  I did a quick google search and diagnosed myself with very mild plantar fasciitis.   Then I decided I had to stop running.  I gave myself a week to heel the feet the loosen up my tight calf and other lower leg muscles.  Swimming and cycling did not hurt so I was able to continue training.  Luckily I was happy with the status of my run because of the successful Sabino Canyon race.  (I should probably write a race report for that one).

On one of my cycling training rides my mind started to wander.  This is, incidentally, my sign for a great training ride.  A free mind means a functioning body.  Anyway, I was struck by how many of my triathlon friends and acquaintances seem to be in this constant cycle of healthy --> injured --> healthy --> injured.  Hopefully we are healthy when race days rolls around but it isn't always the case.  As my mind wandered I suddenly had an a-ha moment.

We are all renovating our bodies much like the home renovation shows I can't get enough of.  We start out our training with these fabulous plans to reshape our bodies, improve our speed, lose weight, and add power.  It doesn't take long before we are nursing injuries and fighting old demons.  I came to the realization that on some level we are all that 100 year old house that comes with a history, limitations and unseen obstacles.

All that valuable time and energy we budget to get us to our perfect race with the PR and perfect race pictures is instead going to be spent recuperating injuries and building a more functional base.  The whole thought made me feel better.  I didn't fret over the lost running time.  Rather, I was diligent with my stretching and icing.  Some of my calm was due having 5 weeks before my race and feeling confident in my training to that point but calm is not one of my more honed skills.

I suppose my biggest takeaway from all this philosophy is that I don't feel like a failure because of my aches and pains.  I am starting to realize that they are just part of the territory and they must be managed.

Today my legs feel fantastic.  My feet are a little tired by the end of the day but there is no pain.

Exactly one month to my big race.  I am happy with my training and little by little I feel like I am getting stronger.  We will just have to wait and see how the big reveal turns out.

On A Roll

I solved my lack of planned race and therefore lack of motivation problem.  Last week at the monthly Tucson Tri Girls meeting, I manged to get my hands on a free race entry.  As much as I wanted to walk away from the race, I just could not turn it down.  The raffle prize spoke to me, challenged me, and honestly freaked me out.  But, alas, I picked it up.  Which race could cause so much anxiety and trepidation?  It is none other than the Deuces Wild Olympic Distance Triathlon.  That's right.  It is the race that was the last nail in my racing coffin last Fall. Here is the recap of the disaster that happened in Show Low last September.

I swore off this race.  It was a terrible experience.  My toe is still not 100%.  Why on earth would I go back?

I am going back to do it right.  Last year was such a mess.  My racing was terrible and I just got by with the bare minimum required.  This year just feels different.  I feel like training for Tinkerbell proved to myself that I have the ability to do what it takes.  In this case I think it takes proper nutrition, training and rest.

I am a bit biased because of the classes I have been taking.  I never realized how important good and purposeful nutrition is to getting these races done.  Now I'm taking an exercise physiology class.  I don't know why I never realized that there was a method to training.  Up to this point, if my training schedule said "60 minute bike ride" I thought is was adequate to just ride for 60 minutes doing whatever route or intensity sounded good to me.  Apparently, there is some periodization that needs to take place in the course of training.  There are specific workouts that help to achieve a specific purpose.  It sounds so dumb when I say this all back to myself.  I suppose I am just sort of lazy and figured my body would magically figure it all out.

I know better now.

On the flip side, this might become the case where a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.  I'm just learning all this exercise science stuff and each little bit is proving to me more enlightening.  It almost feels like I am my own coach and taking ownership of my training.  It is going to take work to avoid over thinking, over analyzing and complete burn out.

Okay, back to reality.  I am only a week into this adventure but I've had some really good training sessions and feel like I have a focus.

I have simple goals.  I will go into this event with calm purpose.  I will take each training session as an opportunity to build my endurance, strength, fitness and knowledge.  I will not regret this experience.  I will work hard to embrace it all.

This brings to me to another reality I have come to face.  I am so tired of fussing about my weight.  I feel like I am just over it.  In all honesty, I am 15 lbs from my ideal weight.  Would I like to be 30 lbs lighter than I am  now? Heck yeah!  Is the wasted time, frustration and confidence worth it?  No.  For too long I have allowed this issue to be my Achilles heel.  I have used it as an excuse for not throwing myself into challenges.  How often have I used my weight as an excuse for doing everything in a mediocre way?  I'm done with it.  Really. There is nothing physically wrong with me.  I fit into decent size clothes.  I don't have any lingering medical conditions.  My nutrition isn't perfect but perfect is not a goal.  Perfection is an excuse.  I want to focus less on calories and more on nutrients.  I want to quiet that critical voice that makes me a victim.

I am ready to measure progress and success by a different standard.

And so, I'm off to try something new.  It could be a bumpy ride.  I just hope I don't kick any of those bumps along the way...again.

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increase" ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Finding Peace

In January 2012 I ran the Inaugural Tinker Bell Half Marathon at Disneyland.  It was a memorable race.  I love all things Disney and was so excited and anxious heading into the race.  The run was a total disaster.  I finished and my clock time was not terrible but the experience was memorable in how much it sucked.  As it turns out, it was the beginning of a really less than stellar year of racing.

This year I went back to Disneyland to take another shot at making the race one for the record books.  I had no time goal.  I hoped to be faster than last year but would have been okay with the same time.  I wanted, more than anything, to enjoy the experience.  The goal was to be present in the experience, to know that I tried my best while taking it all in.

I spent a lot of time in the past few months trying to figure out how to make my body work effectively for me.  I tried to lose weight without much success but more importantly I began to really focus in on my nutrition.  I needed to know how to get past mile 4 of this race without feeling the need for medical intervention.  My long training runs were excellent.  I had put together a formula for success.  The weekend before the half marathon, I managed to put together a 10k PR.  My legs were a little achy (especially my knee) but everything else was falling into place.

I was good to go.

I made this trip with two of my good friends.  They are fun to be around and know my quirks.  I was amazingly calm about the trip and very relaxed about the race.  We left town on Friday and made the long journey to Anaheim.  On Saturday we checked out a couple of rides before heading over to the Expo.  I love the energy at big race events.  We spent some money and gathered our race gear before heading back to the parks to take in as much Disney magic as we could handle before getting to bed early.  My anxiety induced insomnia did not get the memo about how Zen I was feeling about this event.  I slept maybe 4 hours on Friday night and would only sleep another 4 on Saturday night leading up to the race.  I woke up before my alarm and was on a roll by 3:15 a.m.  I ate my pre-long run smoothie (yep, I traveled with my Ninja blender) and got into my running costume.  I did the whole fairy wing costume last year and this time went with a super easy Minnie Mouse ensemble.  So happy I made this choice.

By 4:05 a.m. we were on our way to the starting corrals.

Pre-race. No nerves.  Lots of excitement.

It was a beautiful, warm early morning.  The National Anthem was sung with fireworks and all.  I admit that was the first moment that I got really choked up.  It didn't last long.  I was feeling so much better than I was a year ago at the starting line.  My tummy was full, my legs were warm, and my head was quiet.  I was bound and determined to soak up every last moment of this experience.

We took off together and the pace felt fine.  At about 3/4 of a mile my first friend peeled off as she had a race plan to stick to.  The mood was still very fun and I even found myself chit chatting with other runners.  Racing is so much nicer when you "know" the course.  There were some rolling hills as we traversed the freeway around Disneyland.  I set out to maintain a 11:30 pace but my legs were just too happy on the downhills and I couldn't hold back.  At about 1.25 miles in I looked back for my second friend and she told me to go and run my race.  I was off!

The course through the parks was different this year.  We entered California Adventure at about the 1.5 mile mark and stayed in the parks until about 5.5 miles.  These miles were amazing.  I found my groove, slowed down to take a few very shaky pictures and kept the momentum building in my pace.  I felt like I was flying and it was effortless.  The sights, sounds and support in the parks kept me occupied and happy.  I did have some moments of doubt when I thought I should pull up on my pace to conserve some energy but I just felt too good to slow down.

Running through Disneyland.

Time was just flying by.  As I ran out of Disneyland, out to Downtown Disney, and finally on to the neighborhood streets of Anaheim I could feel the adrenaline fading.  This is exactly how I fell apart last year. I was prepared this time.  I settled into my pace.  I was still moving faster than I had planned but wasn't feeling spent.  My plan was to refill my water bottle with my caffeine carb drink at mile 7 and I did that just as planned.  I was definitely hydrated and fuel.  At mile 5 I had taken on some gel and I did it again at mile 8.  Around mile 9, my tummy starting telling me stories about not wanting anymore gel.  My tummy would have also liked it if I had stopped running.  Thanks to some excellent training runs, I was prepared. I knew I could run through my tummy issues and it would be just fine.  I didn't take any more gel though.  At mile 11, I started to fall apart a bit.  I was taking more walk breaks but I wasn't slowing my pace much when I was running.  For the last mile or so we ran back into California Adventure. I was hurting and trying to keep myself motivated.  There was this amazing hill and I tried to find energy to power down the hill but knew I would walk the uphill (what goes down usually comes back up).  I barely started walking on the uphill when I heard my friend and running buddy.  She had finally caught up.  I was spent.  Hit the wall.  Ran out of gas.  I tried to run with her but I couldn't keep up. The dark thoughts from my terrible race last year started echoing in my head.  And then I took a deep breath and just let it go.  I told her I had to walk, go ahead, finish it, it was all hers.  She kept her steady pace and was soon out of sight.  I was so content with my decision.  I was going to love every last minute of this race.  No regrets, no heartache.

I walked farther than I had ever planned but then I felt the pull of the finish line.  My playlist was on my side with some really uplifting and powerful music.  I turned the corner to the finishing shoot and I felt amazing.

Best race photo I've even taken.  It's a keeper.

Then RunDisney pulled a fast one on all of us.  This wasn't the final turn to the finish line.  There was about 1/2 mile more running to do.  But I have to say, this was the most amazing 1/2 mile  I have ever completed. If there is a runner's high, I was on it.  I knew that I wouldn't be back for this race for years if I ever had the chance to do it again.  I knew that I would never share this experience with my friends again.  With about a 1/4 mile to go I heard my runner notification ping in my ear and I knew my friend had crossed the finish line.  I was so happy for her.  Then I came up to the finish line.  I saw Minnie Mouse cheering and I had to give her a high five.

I must get to Minnie Mouse.  She's over there.  Honest.

And then it was over.

Finish!

My finish time was better than last year.  I shaved about 4.5 minutes off my time.  The difference was all in the experience.  This was one of my favorite races.  I enjoyed it and I felt powerful and strong.

After the race we managed to get free 5 minute massages and then took the long walk back to the hotel.  A short time later, without enough rest, we headed out to conquer Disneyland.

This race could not have been a better experience.  I felt so at peace with my running.  It was so nice to clear out all the cobwebs from poor performances last year.  Thanks to some basic nutrition knowledge and patience with my body I think I am finally getting somewhere.  Now I just need to continue my focus.  The only problem is I have no races planned.  I have plenty of ideas but am feeling so peaceful with not racing that I don't know where to go from here.  I'll keep running.  I'll throw in some swimming and biking and see where the wind takes me.

"When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears." -- Tony Robbins

Three Week Experiment

Back on October 19, I set out on a Three Week Experiment.  Thanks to Swim Bike Mom I got my hands on an eating plan.  I have been on so many "eating plans"/diets, that I was really skeptical.  My body is stuck, nobody believes me when I say I can't lose weight.  Doctors look at me skeptically and say it is all about, "calories in and calories out."  I feel judgement and I hear them all saying, "stop eating, clearly you are eating too much, stop lying to yourself."

The Three Week Experiment was my way of putting this to the test.  It was a no lose situation (pun not intended).  Either I would finally get the hang of eating properly and lose weight, or I would have proof that even if I followed a completely designed meal plan I still wouldn't lose the weight.

I spent a weekend running around from store to store gathering all the specialty items (PB2) and new foods (kale) that I was going to be experiencing for the first week.  I was prepared and I was motivated.  On Monday I stepped up on the scale and got out my measuring tape.  I know, I know, sometimes the scale doesn't move but you get smaller.  Yada, yada.  I was going to gather as much data as possible.

The first few days were rough.  They were terrible, terrible ordeals.  I was so hung up on being perfect on the plan that I completely obsessed about food.  I was anxious about when to eat, that I was eating too much, that I was eating too often, that I wasn't eating often enough.  I was still motivated but frustrated as well.  Clearly, I had been eating too much all along.  After the first day I did a quick calculation of my total calorie intake and it was only 1200 calories.  Too low.  I was being too stingy with the food because I was so worried about going overboard.  I modified for the rest of the week and made sure that I was eating plenty of veggies and protein to stay full.  I have to tell you, the first two Friday's on the plan were unbelievably hard.  I think it was all in my head but I had  decided that I deserved to treat myself on Fridays. I was angry that I wasn't able to eat.  I was a bitter, mean person.  So, I ate.  The first Friday I splurged on thin crust veggie pizza with pineapple.  I was satisfied.

I did notice changes almost immediately.  My weight dropped as it always does when I go on a restricted eating plan.  Four pounds fell off in the first few days.  I was also feeling good.  My sleep was great.  My workouts were awesome.  I was fueling during my workout with carbs because I knew that I wasn't eating enough.  It was amazing to me that even with new foods I was able to easily complete my runs.  The plan got easier with each break through.

By the middle of week 3, the plan was routine.  I knew what I was going to eat and somehow managed to like Muscle Milk.  My body felt great and workouts were still going well.  I also noticed that my usual aches and pains had diminished.  The pain that has plagued my left hip and ankle have become very minimal to non-existent issues.  Maybe finally following a true anti-inflammatory diet has made the difference.  I started to look back at the types of foods I was eating and determined that I had pretty much eliminated wheat and dairy was minimal and only in the form of Greek yogurt and a stick or two of string cheese.  How did I manage to survive without my daily doses of cheese?

In being completely honest, my weekends were not perfect.  I ate out at least once a week.  I tried to keep my portions realistic and I think I succeeded.  I also managed to have a couple of margaritas during the weekend.  I love margaritas.

By the end of the three weeks I saw changes.  However the food was no longer challenging.  I didn't feel like I was eating that much less than I had been all along.  Yes, I have stopped my daily Starbucks trips and my sweets have been few and far between but it hasn't been a complete lifestyle make over.  I understand the plan.  I see the value of high quality protein and carbs at each meal.  I am grateful to have broken my sugar addiction.  I am fairly certain it was sugar withdrawal rather than calorie restriction that made those first few days hell.

So, the final data for the experiment looks pretty good.  I lost 6 lbs and 6.25 inches in three weeks.

You'd think that would have me jumping for joy.  I am very happy that I feel better but I am not impressed with the weight loss.

I am still stuck with the same struggle I've faced for the past 5 years.  I start an eating plan (diet, whatever) and I immediately lose water weight (4 lbs) then I might lose 2-3 more pounds and then it stops.  This is where I am right now.  I have continued with the eating plan and I am stuck.  I lose a pound and I gain a pound.  There is not a steady decline and it is infuriating.

I would just be happy at this point if the scale was going the right direction by 1/4 pounds, anything, really, anything would be better than being stagnant.

What now?  I keep chugging away at it, keep training for Tinkerbell in January, and keep trying to motivate others to do awesome things.

“You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, 

you get what you need”  ~The Rolling Stones