And then this happened:
The day started out fairly uneventful. I was able to get more sleep than I ever have
before a big race. Our cabin was amazing
and comfortable and the whole family was content. I didn’t even have to be in transition before
sunrise since the race didn’t start until 8:04 am and there were not too many
people in the race. I got to the site,
Fools Hollow Lake, at 6:45 am and found a friend and a nice end spot in the
transition area. I had a few minor
emotional freak outs, two fairly unnecessary trips to the pot o potty and then
put on my wet suit. Everything was
moving along just fine. I had plenty of
people to talk to and my mind was not fixated on the race. I felt prepared enough to finish it.
We all wandered down to the water, listened to the National
Anthem and got ready to move. I looked
down at my finger and realize that I am still wearing my wedding ring. I always take it off before I swim just
because I am so paranoid that it is going to slip off. The women in front of me notices that I am spinning
it on my finger, in deep thought, and says (I am not making this up), “Oh no”
to which I respond “Do you think it will slip off?” and she says, “Your fingers
are really going to shrink in this water, I wouldn’t leave it on, I always take
mine off.” Shit. So, the race director
says, “30 seconds” and I am about ready to hyperventilate and I take my only
chance and hurry over the race director and ask her to hold it. She knowingly smiled and took it from
me. First dilemma solved.
The race starts and Oh My God. I have heard about chaotic mass starts but I
wasn’t prepared for it. I was kicked,
punched and grabbed and I did the same to at least a few people. It was insane. I probably pushed on for about 75 yards
before I had to pull up. My goggles were
fogged up and I could not breathe. The elevation and lack of oxygen did me in. I just couldn’t settle into any sort of rhythm
and I felt like I was suffocating. I
looked around in panic and luckily found some friendly faces. People were actually saying my name and
asking if I was okay. I was back
floating, side stroking and breast stroking.
I just couldn’t put my face in the water. Next lesson was waves. I took in 2 faces full of water before I
figured out what was happening. I would
look around but I was by myself and then I remembered, open water has
waves. Duh. I kept plodding along watching the field pull
farther and farther ahead. I’m not going
to lie, I wanted to quit. Finally I just
decided to try putting my face down and breathing every stroke. I found a steady pace and finished the stupid
swim. I came up to the boat dock/exit
point and stumbled up the ramp. I
stopped to get my ring back from the race director and my equilibrium was so
shot I just had to sit. Spectators were
asking me if I was okay and I was okay.
I just needed a moment. Somewhere
in my delirium I managed to stub my toe.
I vaguely remember saying, “Ouch.”
I wandered up to the wet suit stripper and they had me freed in no time
and I hobbled toward my transition area.
I needed to go to the bathroom.
I got my biking gear in order and took my bike toward the
mount line. There were port o potties
right there so I handed off my bike to a volunteer who looked at me like I was
nuts and waddled over to the toilets. I
did not want to spend the next 1.5 hours on the bike needing to “go”. My bike is too pretty to pee on and I get
stage fright.
Finally I was off on the bike. I felt prepared for the bike. The bike felt marvelous after the terrible
swim. Self-doubt had set in and I just
felt like I was totally out of my league, undertrained and overextended. Blah.
Back to the task at hand; the bike course was beautiful. I wish I could
have enjoyed the scenery more. There was
this one really obnoxious hill at about 3.5 miles that I thought was going to
cause my chest to explode but I very slowly powered through and saw that I wasn’t
too far off the main group as it was an out and back route. I passed a couple of people on the back roads
portion of the course and was feeling strong and enjoying the views a bit. Then around mile 8 or so I start to notice a
nagging ache in my right big toe. I felt
like I hit it and I had to think back to where that could have happened. Right, I remembered that something had happened
coming out of the water. Nothing major
just a minor annoyance to this point. I
was still pedaling along and started to feel the sensation of something on my
toe. It actually felt like maybe it was
bleeding so I kept checking the toe box on my shoe to see if there were any
signs of blood. Nothing. There just the ache. I got to the halfway point of the ride and
took on the biggest hill of the course.
It was seriously a monster hill but I just kept going. The only aid station on the bike course was
right after the hill and I did as I had planned and stopped to down some peanut
butter and water. I felt a little bit energized when I left that point but it was short lived. I was tired and just wanted to be done. I knew there was something wrong with my toe
but didn’t give it too much thought.
I came into transition and hopped off my bike. Then there was pain. I couldn’t take a step without a shooting
pain. So, the moment of truth was when I
took off my cleats and my sock. I fully
expected to find a big bloody toenail but there was nothing. I put on my running shoes and finished transition
and took off running. I ran past my
husband who was waiting on the side of the course with a group of
spectators. I wanted so much to whine to
him and tell him I was hurt but I just couldn’t be that person so I trudged
ahead. I only trudged about ¾ of a mile before I started
walking/hobbling. I did not know what to
do. I did not want to quit but it became very clear that I was not going to be
able to run. Every strike of my foot was
painful. I started trying to calculate how
fast I could walk 6.2 miles. On good day
I could probably power walk it efficiently.
Today was not that day. I was
barely moving. Every time I would
attempt to jog, I would smack my toe and my stomach would turn. It was miserable. I shared my situation with anyone that
would listen. Other racers who saw me
walking were very supportive and encouraged me on. My friends on the course were kind and
concerned. I just wanted to quit. I kept looking for anyone who looked official
or had any mode of transportation to get me back to the finish line. I just wanted it to be over. There was no help/way out in sight. Eventually I figured I could get back on my
own two feet faster than I could call for help and get a ride. I kept walking. Now, I wasn’t just concerned about being the
last racer on the course I was really stressing about the fact that Jamie was
waiting up at the finish line expecting me to be back. I should have just swallowed my pride and
told him I was hurt to begin with. While
out on the run course I told one of my friends to find him and let him know
that I was not moving very quickly. I
kicked myself for not taking my phone with me.
The rule for this race was no phones or electronic communication
devices. That is all fine and dandy if
there is adequate race support. I really
wish I had any way to communicate that I was way long on my finish time. Jamie was stuck there with two hungry kids not
having a clue how long I was going to take.
I was more fixated on this situation that I was on my toe. My toe just hurt but the anxiety was
overwhelming. I walked and I cried and I
walked and then cried again.
 |
| There was no way I was going to walk through the finish line. |
After a miserable 4 hours and 25 minutes I crossed the
finish line. I officially finished an
Olympic distance triathlon but I stunk the whole thing up. I am not crossing this goal off my list just
yet. I definitely have more work to do.
My toe isn’t broken. I
caused some major bruising and since I can’t feel my entire toe the urgent care
doc determined that I also probably caused some nerve damage. I am out for at least 2 weeks. While I could always force myself to get out and
swim, bike or run, I am grateful for the break.
I am not making progress right now.
I feel like I am working to be fitter, faster, and stronger but not
achieving any of it. I need to re-evaluate
and figure out what I am missing. I know
I am not ready to increase my goal distance yet. I
really feel like maybe I need to start back at the beginning. Getting fairly tired of writing race reports
where everything goes wrong.
Up next is my final tri of the year, Tinfoilman on Oct. 14
and then all training will focus on Tinker Bell in January 2013. It has to get better than this.
"Defeat doesn't finish a man, quit does. A man is not finished when he's defeated. He's finished when he quits." -Richard M. Nixon
