On A Roll

I solved my lack of planned race and therefore lack of motivation problem.  Last week at the monthly Tucson Tri Girls meeting, I manged to get my hands on a free race entry.  As much as I wanted to walk away from the race, I just could not turn it down.  The raffle prize spoke to me, challenged me, and honestly freaked me out.  But, alas, I picked it up.  Which race could cause so much anxiety and trepidation?  It is none other than the Deuces Wild Olympic Distance Triathlon.  That's right.  It is the race that was the last nail in my racing coffin last Fall. Here is the recap of the disaster that happened in Show Low last September.

I swore off this race.  It was a terrible experience.  My toe is still not 100%.  Why on earth would I go back?

I am going back to do it right.  Last year was such a mess.  My racing was terrible and I just got by with the bare minimum required.  This year just feels different.  I feel like training for Tinkerbell proved to myself that I have the ability to do what it takes.  In this case I think it takes proper nutrition, training and rest.

I am a bit biased because of the classes I have been taking.  I never realized how important good and purposeful nutrition is to getting these races done.  Now I'm taking an exercise physiology class.  I don't know why I never realized that there was a method to training.  Up to this point, if my training schedule said "60 minute bike ride" I thought is was adequate to just ride for 60 minutes doing whatever route or intensity sounded good to me.  Apparently, there is some periodization that needs to take place in the course of training.  There are specific workouts that help to achieve a specific purpose.  It sounds so dumb when I say this all back to myself.  I suppose I am just sort of lazy and figured my body would magically figure it all out.

I know better now.

On the flip side, this might become the case where a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.  I'm just learning all this exercise science stuff and each little bit is proving to me more enlightening.  It almost feels like I am my own coach and taking ownership of my training.  It is going to take work to avoid over thinking, over analyzing and complete burn out.

Okay, back to reality.  I am only a week into this adventure but I've had some really good training sessions and feel like I have a focus.

I have simple goals.  I will go into this event with calm purpose.  I will take each training session as an opportunity to build my endurance, strength, fitness and knowledge.  I will not regret this experience.  I will work hard to embrace it all.

This brings to me to another reality I have come to face.  I am so tired of fussing about my weight.  I feel like I am just over it.  In all honesty, I am 15 lbs from my ideal weight.  Would I like to be 30 lbs lighter than I am  now? Heck yeah!  Is the wasted time, frustration and confidence worth it?  No.  For too long I have allowed this issue to be my Achilles heel.  I have used it as an excuse for not throwing myself into challenges.  How often have I used my weight as an excuse for doing everything in a mediocre way?  I'm done with it.  Really. There is nothing physically wrong with me.  I fit into decent size clothes.  I don't have any lingering medical conditions.  My nutrition isn't perfect but perfect is not a goal.  Perfection is an excuse.  I want to focus less on calories and more on nutrients.  I want to quiet that critical voice that makes me a victim.

I am ready to measure progress and success by a different standard.

And so, I'm off to try something new.  It could be a bumpy ride.  I just hope I don't kick any of those bumps along the way...again.

"That which we persist in doing becomes easier - not that the nature of the task has changed, but our ability to do has increase" ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Finding Peace

In January 2012 I ran the Inaugural Tinker Bell Half Marathon at Disneyland.  It was a memorable race.  I love all things Disney and was so excited and anxious heading into the race.  The run was a total disaster.  I finished and my clock time was not terrible but the experience was memorable in how much it sucked.  As it turns out, it was the beginning of a really less than stellar year of racing.

This year I went back to Disneyland to take another shot at making the race one for the record books.  I had no time goal.  I hoped to be faster than last year but would have been okay with the same time.  I wanted, more than anything, to enjoy the experience.  The goal was to be present in the experience, to know that I tried my best while taking it all in.

I spent a lot of time in the past few months trying to figure out how to make my body work effectively for me.  I tried to lose weight without much success but more importantly I began to really focus in on my nutrition.  I needed to know how to get past mile 4 of this race without feeling the need for medical intervention.  My long training runs were excellent.  I had put together a formula for success.  The weekend before the half marathon, I managed to put together a 10k PR.  My legs were a little achy (especially my knee) but everything else was falling into place.

I was good to go.

I made this trip with two of my good friends.  They are fun to be around and know my quirks.  I was amazingly calm about the trip and very relaxed about the race.  We left town on Friday and made the long journey to Anaheim.  On Saturday we checked out a couple of rides before heading over to the Expo.  I love the energy at big race events.  We spent some money and gathered our race gear before heading back to the parks to take in as much Disney magic as we could handle before getting to bed early.  My anxiety induced insomnia did not get the memo about how Zen I was feeling about this event.  I slept maybe 4 hours on Friday night and would only sleep another 4 on Saturday night leading up to the race.  I woke up before my alarm and was on a roll by 3:15 a.m.  I ate my pre-long run smoothie (yep, I traveled with my Ninja blender) and got into my running costume.  I did the whole fairy wing costume last year and this time went with a super easy Minnie Mouse ensemble.  So happy I made this choice.

By 4:05 a.m. we were on our way to the starting corrals.

Pre-race. No nerves.  Lots of excitement.

It was a beautiful, warm early morning.  The National Anthem was sung with fireworks and all.  I admit that was the first moment that I got really choked up.  It didn't last long.  I was feeling so much better than I was a year ago at the starting line.  My tummy was full, my legs were warm, and my head was quiet.  I was bound and determined to soak up every last moment of this experience.

We took off together and the pace felt fine.  At about 3/4 of a mile my first friend peeled off as she had a race plan to stick to.  The mood was still very fun and I even found myself chit chatting with other runners.  Racing is so much nicer when you "know" the course.  There were some rolling hills as we traversed the freeway around Disneyland.  I set out to maintain a 11:30 pace but my legs were just too happy on the downhills and I couldn't hold back.  At about 1.25 miles in I looked back for my second friend and she told me to go and run my race.  I was off!

The course through the parks was different this year.  We entered California Adventure at about the 1.5 mile mark and stayed in the parks until about 5.5 miles.  These miles were amazing.  I found my groove, slowed down to take a few very shaky pictures and kept the momentum building in my pace.  I felt like I was flying and it was effortless.  The sights, sounds and support in the parks kept me occupied and happy.  I did have some moments of doubt when I thought I should pull up on my pace to conserve some energy but I just felt too good to slow down.

Running through Disneyland.

Time was just flying by.  As I ran out of Disneyland, out to Downtown Disney, and finally on to the neighborhood streets of Anaheim I could feel the adrenaline fading.  This is exactly how I fell apart last year. I was prepared this time.  I settled into my pace.  I was still moving faster than I had planned but wasn't feeling spent.  My plan was to refill my water bottle with my caffeine carb drink at mile 7 and I did that just as planned.  I was definitely hydrated and fuel.  At mile 5 I had taken on some gel and I did it again at mile 8.  Around mile 9, my tummy starting telling me stories about not wanting anymore gel.  My tummy would have also liked it if I had stopped running.  Thanks to some excellent training runs, I was prepared. I knew I could run through my tummy issues and it would be just fine.  I didn't take any more gel though.  At mile 11, I started to fall apart a bit.  I was taking more walk breaks but I wasn't slowing my pace much when I was running.  For the last mile or so we ran back into California Adventure. I was hurting and trying to keep myself motivated.  There was this amazing hill and I tried to find energy to power down the hill but knew I would walk the uphill (what goes down usually comes back up).  I barely started walking on the uphill when I heard my friend and running buddy.  She had finally caught up.  I was spent.  Hit the wall.  Ran out of gas.  I tried to run with her but I couldn't keep up. The dark thoughts from my terrible race last year started echoing in my head.  And then I took a deep breath and just let it go.  I told her I had to walk, go ahead, finish it, it was all hers.  She kept her steady pace and was soon out of sight.  I was so content with my decision.  I was going to love every last minute of this race.  No regrets, no heartache.

I walked farther than I had ever planned but then I felt the pull of the finish line.  My playlist was on my side with some really uplifting and powerful music.  I turned the corner to the finishing shoot and I felt amazing.

Best race photo I've even taken.  It's a keeper.

Then RunDisney pulled a fast one on all of us.  This wasn't the final turn to the finish line.  There was about 1/2 mile more running to do.  But I have to say, this was the most amazing 1/2 mile  I have ever completed. If there is a runner's high, I was on it.  I knew that I wouldn't be back for this race for years if I ever had the chance to do it again.  I knew that I would never share this experience with my friends again.  With about a 1/4 mile to go I heard my runner notification ping in my ear and I knew my friend had crossed the finish line.  I was so happy for her.  Then I came up to the finish line.  I saw Minnie Mouse cheering and I had to give her a high five.

I must get to Minnie Mouse.  She's over there.  Honest.

And then it was over.

Finish!

My finish time was better than last year.  I shaved about 4.5 minutes off my time.  The difference was all in the experience.  This was one of my favorite races.  I enjoyed it and I felt powerful and strong.

After the race we managed to get free 5 minute massages and then took the long walk back to the hotel.  A short time later, without enough rest, we headed out to conquer Disneyland.

This race could not have been a better experience.  I felt so at peace with my running.  It was so nice to clear out all the cobwebs from poor performances last year.  Thanks to some basic nutrition knowledge and patience with my body I think I am finally getting somewhere.  Now I just need to continue my focus.  The only problem is I have no races planned.  I have plenty of ideas but am feeling so peaceful with not racing that I don't know where to go from here.  I'll keep running.  I'll throw in some swimming and biking and see where the wind takes me.

"When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears." -- Tony Robbins