Finding Peace

In January 2012 I ran the Inaugural Tinker Bell Half Marathon at Disneyland.  It was a memorable race.  I love all things Disney and was so excited and anxious heading into the race.  The run was a total disaster.  I finished and my clock time was not terrible but the experience was memorable in how much it sucked.  As it turns out, it was the beginning of a really less than stellar year of racing.

This year I went back to Disneyland to take another shot at making the race one for the record books.  I had no time goal.  I hoped to be faster than last year but would have been okay with the same time.  I wanted, more than anything, to enjoy the experience.  The goal was to be present in the experience, to know that I tried my best while taking it all in.

I spent a lot of time in the past few months trying to figure out how to make my body work effectively for me.  I tried to lose weight without much success but more importantly I began to really focus in on my nutrition.  I needed to know how to get past mile 4 of this race without feeling the need for medical intervention.  My long training runs were excellent.  I had put together a formula for success.  The weekend before the half marathon, I managed to put together a 10k PR.  My legs were a little achy (especially my knee) but everything else was falling into place.

I was good to go.

I made this trip with two of my good friends.  They are fun to be around and know my quirks.  I was amazingly calm about the trip and very relaxed about the race.  We left town on Friday and made the long journey to Anaheim.  On Saturday we checked out a couple of rides before heading over to the Expo.  I love the energy at big race events.  We spent some money and gathered our race gear before heading back to the parks to take in as much Disney magic as we could handle before getting to bed early.  My anxiety induced insomnia did not get the memo about how Zen I was feeling about this event.  I slept maybe 4 hours on Friday night and would only sleep another 4 on Saturday night leading up to the race.  I woke up before my alarm and was on a roll by 3:15 a.m.  I ate my pre-long run smoothie (yep, I traveled with my Ninja blender) and got into my running costume.  I did the whole fairy wing costume last year and this time went with a super easy Minnie Mouse ensemble.  So happy I made this choice.

By 4:05 a.m. we were on our way to the starting corrals.

Pre-race. No nerves.  Lots of excitement.

It was a beautiful, warm early morning.  The National Anthem was sung with fireworks and all.  I admit that was the first moment that I got really choked up.  It didn't last long.  I was feeling so much better than I was a year ago at the starting line.  My tummy was full, my legs were warm, and my head was quiet.  I was bound and determined to soak up every last moment of this experience.

We took off together and the pace felt fine.  At about 3/4 of a mile my first friend peeled off as she had a race plan to stick to.  The mood was still very fun and I even found myself chit chatting with other runners.  Racing is so much nicer when you "know" the course.  There were some rolling hills as we traversed the freeway around Disneyland.  I set out to maintain a 11:30 pace but my legs were just too happy on the downhills and I couldn't hold back.  At about 1.25 miles in I looked back for my second friend and she told me to go and run my race.  I was off!

The course through the parks was different this year.  We entered California Adventure at about the 1.5 mile mark and stayed in the parks until about 5.5 miles.  These miles were amazing.  I found my groove, slowed down to take a few very shaky pictures and kept the momentum building in my pace.  I felt like I was flying and it was effortless.  The sights, sounds and support in the parks kept me occupied and happy.  I did have some moments of doubt when I thought I should pull up on my pace to conserve some energy but I just felt too good to slow down.

Running through Disneyland.

Time was just flying by.  As I ran out of Disneyland, out to Downtown Disney, and finally on to the neighborhood streets of Anaheim I could feel the adrenaline fading.  This is exactly how I fell apart last year. I was prepared this time.  I settled into my pace.  I was still moving faster than I had planned but wasn't feeling spent.  My plan was to refill my water bottle with my caffeine carb drink at mile 7 and I did that just as planned.  I was definitely hydrated and fuel.  At mile 5 I had taken on some gel and I did it again at mile 8.  Around mile 9, my tummy starting telling me stories about not wanting anymore gel.  My tummy would have also liked it if I had stopped running.  Thanks to some excellent training runs, I was prepared. I knew I could run through my tummy issues and it would be just fine.  I didn't take any more gel though.  At mile 11, I started to fall apart a bit.  I was taking more walk breaks but I wasn't slowing my pace much when I was running.  For the last mile or so we ran back into California Adventure. I was hurting and trying to keep myself motivated.  There was this amazing hill and I tried to find energy to power down the hill but knew I would walk the uphill (what goes down usually comes back up).  I barely started walking on the uphill when I heard my friend and running buddy.  She had finally caught up.  I was spent.  Hit the wall.  Ran out of gas.  I tried to run with her but I couldn't keep up. The dark thoughts from my terrible race last year started echoing in my head.  And then I took a deep breath and just let it go.  I told her I had to walk, go ahead, finish it, it was all hers.  She kept her steady pace and was soon out of sight.  I was so content with my decision.  I was going to love every last minute of this race.  No regrets, no heartache.

I walked farther than I had ever planned but then I felt the pull of the finish line.  My playlist was on my side with some really uplifting and powerful music.  I turned the corner to the finishing shoot and I felt amazing.

Best race photo I've even taken.  It's a keeper.

Then RunDisney pulled a fast one on all of us.  This wasn't the final turn to the finish line.  There was about 1/2 mile more running to do.  But I have to say, this was the most amazing 1/2 mile  I have ever completed. If there is a runner's high, I was on it.  I knew that I wouldn't be back for this race for years if I ever had the chance to do it again.  I knew that I would never share this experience with my friends again.  With about a 1/4 mile to go I heard my runner notification ping in my ear and I knew my friend had crossed the finish line.  I was so happy for her.  Then I came up to the finish line.  I saw Minnie Mouse cheering and I had to give her a high five.

I must get to Minnie Mouse.  She's over there.  Honest.

And then it was over.

Finish!

My finish time was better than last year.  I shaved about 4.5 minutes off my time.  The difference was all in the experience.  This was one of my favorite races.  I enjoyed it and I felt powerful and strong.

After the race we managed to get free 5 minute massages and then took the long walk back to the hotel.  A short time later, without enough rest, we headed out to conquer Disneyland.

This race could not have been a better experience.  I felt so at peace with my running.  It was so nice to clear out all the cobwebs from poor performances last year.  Thanks to some basic nutrition knowledge and patience with my body I think I am finally getting somewhere.  Now I just need to continue my focus.  The only problem is I have no races planned.  I have plenty of ideas but am feeling so peaceful with not racing that I don't know where to go from here.  I'll keep running.  I'll throw in some swimming and biking and see where the wind takes me.

"When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears." -- Tony Robbins